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‘I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’d made up my mind, before our night, I was going to get out of there with minimum fuss, sure that’s what you would want. You have to understand, it was about protecting myself. The reason I said no for so long was I knew it could never just be meaningless sex to me, and I wasn’t sure I could cope with only ever having one night with you. I figured it would be easier never to know, but I also knew I wasn’t going to be able to resist forever no matter how sure I was of that.’ It was my turn to search her face for the truth, as I tried to keep calm despite what she was saying. She had wanted me, and for more than one night but she took that anyway to be with me, even though she thought she would end up being the one that got hurt because of it. ‘I’m glad it happened, because otherwise who knows when I would have come to my senses and realised how much I needed you. It makes me sad to think you went into it thinking like that though, I never would have hurt. "Sara, your brother had to go into work. He was really upset that he couldn't be here." I was so upset. I knew he could have been there. He was his own boss and I knew he just didn't want to be there. I fought back my tears and gave all of my brothers and sisters hugs. I hugged my parents and said my goodbyes. I got in my car and drove the 9 hours to college. Most of the students at the college lived on campus, but my scholarship didn't pay for boarding and it was cheaper for me to rent an apartment. I got a job at a local coffee shop that barely paid over minimum wage. I struggled to pay my bills, but it was the only place that would work with my school schedule. I had made several friends in a very short period of time, but none of them could take my mind off of my family. Especially my brother Justin. I had called home almost every night and every time I called I would ask to speak to him. He would always give Mom and Dad some excuse as to why he couldn't get on the phone with me..
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